Tick, tick........KABOOM! When I was little, I remember being so excited to celebrate another birthday. "How many gifts will I get this time?", I used to think. During my teens, I couldn't wait to add another year to my age either. When asked how old I was, I would respond with," am turning 15" (but I was actually just 14) or "am turning 18 "(17 only to be exact). At 20, I was ecstatic to turn 21. Finally, an ADULT : can-drink, can-smoke, can-do-anything-without-the concent-of-the-parents. But come to think of it, I already became a mom before I actually became an adult! But that's another story. Anyway, back to birthdays...At 25, I wanted time to stop. Hold it, hold it...I want to be 25 forever!!! But the clock kept ticking! Tick, tick..."Happy 26th Birthday, Julie!"...tick, tick..."Happy 27th..."...tick, tick..."Happy 28th..." aaaaAAAARGH! It wouldn't stop! Next thing I knew I was turning 30. Yes, the big 3-0. I used to tease my friends then when they were celebrating theirs and I was only in my twenties. "Dadating ka rin dito", they would tease back. And yes, I have finally arrived. I cried, would you believe? It was worst than I thought. It wasn't so much of the physical aspect of turning 30 that saddened me. It was more of what I have achieved in 3 decades. I knew I could've, would've, should've done more for myself and my daughter. I dunno maybe it's the O.C. in me. So kids, always listen to your parents. Even if you think they're wrong or they want to run you're life...no. It just seems that way, but they actually do know what's best for you. During one of my rehearsals last week, I was talking about the same thing to my co-dancer. She's in her late 20's, happily married, 2 kids...and I look at her and I envy how she was able to have her life all planned out. I could've done that too! But I didn't. I chose the road less travelled and along the way, I made a lot of wrong decisions. So can you imagine how bumpy that road was? So anyway, there I was telling her all this and she looks at me strangely and says, "Honey, I could'nt have possibly gone through what you went through. Imagine, having a child at 20, practically raising her on your own, being the bread winner of the family. In my eyes and sa mata ng marami, ikaw si Superwoman. So don't ever think that you could've done more. Coz you have. You're one of the strongest women I know. You were able to raise such a beautiful, loving, super bait daughter... that's a big achievement and that should count for something." Wow! I was completely blown away. I sat there quietly thinking about what she said. Tomorrow am turning 31(you see, using the word "turning" has already become a bad habit to break)...but am still 30 right now. Am still not excited about my birthday and I still haven't stopped thinking about my wouldda, couldda, shouldda's. However, I do have my life planned out now. Just have to iron out a few things. Nonetheless, am glad that I have my two mikes right here by my side. I can't wait to build a better and brighter future with them. As I am writing this, my daughter comes in the room and hands me a styro, "Hi mom, look what we made in school. It's called pichi-pichi (says it in this cute american accent). I made one for you, one for dad, and one for me. But you can have mine if you want." She's the sweetest. And she really is my greatest achievement.