My Mom

I grew up without a mom and a dad. They both got separated even before I came to this world. I was raised by my grandparents (my dad’s parents) and my dad’s sisters. I remember growing up and thinking about my mom endlessly. What she was doing, what she had for dinner, what she dreamt about in her sleep and if she was thinking of me the same way too. She would pick me up once in awhile to go and see a movie or get me the latest Barbie, however, goodbyes were always so difficult for me…because I’d never know when I would see her again. I grew up missing her so much. Crying myself to sleep every now and then because I needed her in my life. Then she got married and had another child (my lovely half Belgian and half Filipino sister, Celine). Mom became really busy with work and with her new family. I saw less of her by this time. And because her husband’s work entailed for them to live out of the Philippines, they moved from one country to the next. This gypsy lifestyle I envied so much, but mom said to me recently that she has grown tired of this and is ready to return to Manila and establish their permanent life here (fingers crossed). Moreover, she promised to "make up for lost time". It has been years since I’ve last seen mom. My daughter was still a toddler then (she’s turning 12 in October). That’s how long it has been. Too, damn, long really! Anyway, so early in the morning yesterday, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. It was mom. She’s already in Manila!!! What a lovely surprise! I really hope to spend more time with her this time. *sigh* …I thought that I would someday outgrow this yearning. I thought that being a mother myself would somehow conceal and diminish it. Maybe at the slightest bit it did, yeah. But I still do miss her terribly and long for her from time to time. You see, my mom may not be the greatest there is but she IS my mother and I love her dearly. Happy Mother’s day, Mommy! Can’t wait to see you! :) Update (May 9, Monday): Met mom in Shangrila Mall yesterday at around 10:30am. She looked so pretty and it felt great to hug her and to be hugged back. It has always been so refreshing to see mom. She's like a breath of fresh air. We talked nonstop for hours in Cibo. We separated ways at 2pm. We promised to see each other at least once a week. Can't wait for our next meeting when I finally get to introduce her to my hana and she can finally see how beautiful her grandchild has become.